Schoolhouse Rock -Procrastination-ation

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Here I sit in the famed TANIMURA & ANTEL MEMORIAL FAMILY LIBRARY, laptop in front of me and an endless list of assignments on top of me. Instead of completing, finishing, or even starting this work, I choose to procrastinate, and no that is the similar to Masturbate. Getting out minds out of the gutter, Lets try to find the reasoning behind my procrastination.

I have always linked my procrastination to ADD, a disorder I doubt I have or have ever been diagnosed with. However, if I don't wanna get started in work its because I get distracted too easily. The solution to this problem was to go to a library and then I would be forced to complete my work or I would sit in a boring library. Nowadays, libraries aren't boring anymore. They have coffee houses, free internet access, tons of computers, and with the advent of WI-FI and laptops, I can find procrastination at the push of a button in the entire library.

So I can conclude that I do not have ADD and that my options for procrastinating are limitless, from the internet, to television, to eating food or sleeping, it surrounds my very existence. This rules out the solution of riding the world of appealing modes of procrastinating. The next angle I must look at this pedantic problem from is my self. If it isn't something outside, it must be something inside myself.

The reasons I have found for procrastinating that are legitimate are few. However they run deep. the first I choose to look at is the Fear of Failure. If I approach an assignment with %110 and do not receive an A or B then in my eyes I have FAILED. Therefore if I put this assignment off until the very last minute, I will be satisfied with a C because I didn't even try on it. It is a way to validate myself and know that if I fail or am rejected in sense that it is because I didn't give it an honest effort-just a last minute one.

Next is the fear of Success. Afraid to be successful because of the failure that might ensue, the added responsibility of reaching one's potential, and the expectations others and the self will put on you. This is a complicate one. I mean don't we all strive for success? I do, but not because I care so much. more so because that is what I am supposed to do right?

Finally we fucking procrastinate because we just don't want to do the god damn fucking assignment. It was a long day at work, on my feet for 10 hours or a tiring, long day on campus from 8am to 6pm and the article or short story due tomorrow is the farthest thing from my mind. What I want is to turn on the TV, lay on the couch and pass the fuck out!

Whatever the reasoning for my delay of the inevitable, it seems that no matter what I do, I still procrastinate. I have accepted it, which is bad, because I know that I am doing it, that I shouldn't, and that the end result is mediocre work, a runny nose from lack of sleep and added stress that is unnecessary.

Maybe one day when $ is on the line I will act more responsibly, but until then I will strive for excellence and see what happens...you know what they don't say, "You can teach an old dog new tricks."

This old dog has yet to open his bag of tricks...