California Legislator Slumber Party

The metallic, overhead projector looking droid known as Johnny-5 bulldozed his way through the overcrowded streets of Sacramento on his way to the state capitol. His Daunting task, assigned by the enraged California Teachers Association (CTA), was to infiltrate the Capitol Building, holding every pretentious California legislator hostage until they agreed on a budget plan for 2009. Johnny-5 was to use any force necessary to achieve his objective: to ensure a budget was signed into legislation within 48 hours of his outrageously violent takeover, including the use of the cruel and torturous method known as water boarding.

Arriving at the gold domed capitol building to a barrage of television news reporters, the determined android located his bullshit seeking missiles and pointed them in the direction of the mostly white news vans with telescopic satellites protruding from their flat roofs. After broadcasting a preemptive strike warning to all of the reporters' PDAs, Johnny-5 proceeded to arm the missiles. Like the swish of a basketball through a net, the 2 foot long slender missiles left Johnny-5's metal, square, army-green shoulder holster that brandished bright yellow, stenciled writing that read, "Explosives!"

As the missiles soared low to the ground, the reporters were discussing the message they all received on their coveted PDAs. "Is this some kind of joke?" a CNN reporter asked.

"I bet it's Al Qaeda. They've teamed up with Ralph Nader and are conquering the US one state at a time, starting with California," feared a Fox News reporter.

As heat seeking missiles track heat signatures, the Bullshit seeking missiles began to detect more and more Bullshit from the reporters in their path. The more bullshit that is discovered, the faster and more accurately the weapons travel.

Johnny-5's megaphone/bullhorn, now being controlled temporarily by the CTA, was activated. Another message was relayed to the ornery reporters, "Report objectively and truthfully without bias or you will be killed!"

Standing around with their pencils up their asses, the group of journalists, as they like to be called, stood scratching their heads. As they simultaneously turned around to see four sets of Bullshit seeking missiles headed for them at an alarming speed, they aslo noticed the red eyed, 5 foot tall android operating on tractor-like tracks not far behind...(more to come next time)